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- January 2, 1984
-
- THE MOST OF 1983
-
- Longest Goodbye; The 2 1/2-hour final episode of M*A*S*H*, telecast
- by CBS last February to unprecedented ratings, and followed by the
- Fastest Return: After MASH, unveiled just seven months later.
-
- Most Enchanted Evening: Sept. 29, when A Chorus Line became the
- longest-running show on Broadway and Director Michael Bennett restaged
- his musical as a dazzling class reunion of 330 dancing alumni. Is A
- Chorus Line the best-ever Broadway musical? No. But that night it
- was.
-
- Least Enchanted Ten Weeks: The Broadway revival of Private Lives, in
- which Resistible Force Richard Burton met Immovable Object Elizabeth
- Taylor, and the play sank in a wave of critical catcalls.
-
- Sexiest Secret Agent: Sean Connery, who returned to play 007 in Never
- Say Never Again and easily beat Mannequin Roger Moore (Octopussy) in
- the battle of the Bonds.
-
- Squeakiest Door: The homosexuality closet on Broadway, which was
- vividly pried open with the Tony-winning Torch Song Trilogy and the
- hit musical La Cage aux Folles.
-
- Saddest Alien: E.T., who found that being box-office champ could not
- keep him (and his creator steven Spielberg) from getting trampled in
- the Oscar race by Gandhi.
-
- Happiest Aliens: The extraterrestrials who populated Return of the
- Jedi, the Star Ward sequel that took in almost $300 million at the
- motive theaters in its first six months.
-
- Longest War: ABC's 18-hour The Winds of . . . brought Herman Wouk and
- a platoon of stars to prime time and proved that, with a $40 million
- budget and $35 million worth of on-air promotion, a mini-series can
- still snag record numbers of viewers.
-
- Most Versatile Talent: Playwright-Actor Sam Shepard, who scored off-
- Broadway with his dynamo dramas True West and Fool for Love, and on-
- screen as the sexy incarnation of Test Pilot Chuck Yeager in The Right
- Stuff.
-
- Highest Rebound: Bette Midler, who stormed back from a jinxed movie
- career to recover her standing as Ms. Show Biz with as 50-city concert
- tour, a cable-TV special, a new album, and a bestselling book, The
- Saga of Baby Divine.